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Boundary Building: A DBT-Informed Skill

Boundary building is a useful application of DBT interpersonal effectiveness, but it is not a separate standard DBT skills module.

A boundary identifies a limit and the action a person will take to protect safety, time, privacy, health or values. It does not control another person, guarantee cooperation or make an unsafe relationship safe.

A practical boundary process

  1. Identify the issue. Describe the behaviour or situation without global labels.
  2. Clarify the need or limit. Decide what you can and cannot reasonably participate in.
  3. Communicate clearly. Use a direct request or statement, drawing on DEAR MAN where useful.
  4. Choose follow-through. State an action within your control rather than a threat intended to control someone else.
  5. Review safety and consequences. Consider power differences, dependence, retaliation and available support.

Example

“I am available to discuss the project during working hours. I will not respond to non-urgent messages after 8 p.m. If a message arrives later, I will reply the next working day.”

What boundaries are not

  • A guarantee that another person will change
  • A punishment for disagreement
  • Evidence that someone caused their own abuse by not setting limits
  • A substitute for safeguarding, domestic-violence, legal or workplace support

Safety

Directly stating a boundary can increase danger in coercive or violent situations. Confidential safety planning and specialist support may be more appropriate than confrontation.

Explore DEAR MAN, FAST and the Communication and Relationship Worksheets.

Evidence status

This is an original DBT-informed educational resource. It has not been independently validated as a treatment or outcome measure.

Evidence and editorial note

Resource type: Educational overview of a DBT skill or skills module. It supports learning and practice but is not comprehensive Dialectical Behavior Therapy.

Evidence basis: Marsha M. Linehan’s DBT Skills Training Manual, Revised Edition (2025), official Behavioral Tech training information, current NICE guidance and peer-reviewed evidence reviews where treatment claims are discussed.

Review status: Written and evidence-checked by the CounselorAid editorial team. Last evidence review: 3 August 2026. No named independent clinical reviewer is being claimed. Please report factual or safety concerns through the contact page.

Important: This information cannot diagnose a condition, assess personal risk or replace care from an appropriately qualified professional. In an immediate crisis or medical emergency, use local emergency or crisis services.