Boundary Building Skill

Emotional health depends on one’s mental boundaries, it is a complex mental mechanism that requires stability in one’s life. Crucial to survival, boundaries help people discover their identities. This is why, in toxic environments and dysfunctional families, there are no clear limits to one’s boundaries thus creating the risk of emotional overload.  In time, with positive self-discovery, we learn more about our boundaries, giving us the ability to prevent being overwhelmed by problematic situations. We begin to understand why it is important to let in kindness, compassion, and positive regard while keeping out negativity and hostility.

Learning Boundaries

If you were raised in a toxic environment where your mental boundaries were constantly exploited, the chances are you would never be able to establish the same boundaries in adult life. Not learning mental discipline and where your boundaries lie as a child makes it difficult as an adult to convey your boundaries to others. Neither would you know how to respect the boundaries of others.

Understanding Boundaries

Understanding your own boundaries and those of others is important. If you want others to respect your boundaries, you need to show similar respect and clearly convey the limits of your own.

Identifying Your Boundaries

Setting boundaries requires you to focus and understand what’s most important in your life. For example, in marriage, some people just cannot accept infidelity. In a workplace setting, some employees will just not accept a boss yelling at them. In a family setting, altercations will not be accepted during occasions and family get-togethers.

Communicating and Enforcing Your Boundaries

Knowing and understanding their boundaries helps people understand how to communicate them to others. While it might not be easy, it requires mindfulness and focus until it becomes a habit.

Your Physical Boundaries

You are accountable for the choices you make in life. Your actions, behavior, and lifestyle are all on you. Moreover, you are also responsible for your physical and mental health by choosing things that will impact you negatively or positively.

Emotional Boundaries

The individual self depends on emotional boundaries. Threats such as judgements, abuse, abandonment, sarcasm, ridicule, insult, insecurity, and contempt are all threats to such boundaries. Boundaries are strengthened by positive reinforcement and regard.